Say Yes to The Dress

Graduation season has me reflecting on a story………

It’s kinda interesting the things that you NEED to know about in life aren’t taught.  Has anyone here learned about business let alone money management from their parents?

Then there’s the “programming“, almost generational poverty (OR wealth, depending on your ancestors experience) that is passed down generation to generation.  generation poverty

The other thing we don’t learn from any parenting course or book, is the “no’s” and “yes’s” in parenting.  Sorry even the trusted Dr.Spock of parenting prepared me for graduation day and the dress.

It was the graduation year of one of my daughters. Prom was coming and she needed a new dress. She shared with me the sort of dress she wanted, the sort of dress she was dreaming about, the sort of dress that she searched through magazines for and tore out the pictures of. I suggested that she check out a second hand boutique in our neighborhood. Now I said boutique, not store or shop. Classy place, brand name designers. She turned to me with great disappointment in her face and asked me, “Am I going to have to wear a second hand dress on my wedding day?” Clearly, this was something that was important to her.
Let me tell you, I don’t even remember my graduation. I cannot say anything about it other than there was no celebration, no big deal made and……. no dress.
I grew up believing that the things we want are not important. Just make do or do without.

The conversation on that day lead to several weeks of turmoil and walls being built.
Was this the sort of relationship I wanted with my children?
She was miserable, I was miserable, everyone in the house was miserable.  say yes
Taking a serious look at my belief system, I realized MY belief system around money was directly effecting my relationships with the very people that I loved and cared for.  THE dress she loved…it happened. And that’s what happens with just education and understanding about finances……we make things happen for those we love!

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